A little perspective

As I was plodding around the track this morning, which still felt much too hard at this point in our training with the race next weekend (insert large "gulp" here), I realized how I was running. No, I'm not talking about "heal, toe" or keeping my arms poised at perfect 90 degree angles. It was my eyes. They were glued to the track about a foot in front of me. A voice from within said,

"Look around."

And so I did. I saw a beautiful sunrise, lush green trees, singing birds...a start to a beautiful day. It made me think at how often I go through my day with my eyes down, focused only within my little world. How easy it is for me to get caught up in the demands of life, feeling overwhelmed, torn, fragmented, etc...I can so easily lose perspective on the bigger picture. I see the annoyances of my job and forget to see the blessing it has been in providing housing (et. al) for our family during this time of transition; I see the piles of laundry and dishes to be done and forget to see that I am blessed because I actually have people to care for.

A new day.

A new perspective.

Ironic thing...when I got back inside. Shawn said that he and Connor came out and stood on our front steps watching me run for a little bit. They were waving and cheering me on.

I had no clue.

Awake my soul.

Wake up.

Look around and take notice.

For this is a new day

to give thanks,

for blessings that are large and noticeable,

and small hidden ones

just waiting to be uncovered.

Awake my soul.

Wake up.

God help me not to push the snooze button.

Verbal explosion

Connor will be 18 months this week. It sort of takes my breath away to see how my youngest is growing so quickly. Watching him sprawl across his crib when he sleeps shows me how big he is getting. Watching his independence blossom reminds me that he is becoming his own little person with wants and desires. Within these last 6 weeks, his vocabulary has also just taken off, giving voice to these new wants and desires.

His first sentence?

"I want gum."

Quick thinker

That is exactly what Owen is. A quick thinker. This afternoon as I was getting lunch ready, he kept coming up behind me and hitting my skirt that I was wearing--making it swish around. Needless to say, it was very annoying.

"Owen, stop it."
Hit.

"Owen, I don't like it when you do that."
Hit.

"Owen, if I have to ask you one more time to stop, you are going to have a time-out."
Hit.

"Owen, let's go...time out. I asked you to quit doing that."

Quick as a wink he said, "But why? I am just practing hitting a pinata."

Good one, Owen...a pinata. Nice try, mister.

Rainbows

Friday night our family was out and about and we saw the most beautiful rainbow. I mean wide, bright, and close. It was probably hands-down the most stunning rainbow I have ever seen in real-life.

I asked Owen, "Owen, why do we have rainbows?" (Trying to take this moment as a little spiritual nurture...easy transition into the Noah story and all...figured that was the obvious answer, right?)

My 3 year-old pipes up, "Rainbows come from the sunshine going through rain clouds."

Oh yes, of course.
Guess we'll save Noah for another day...

Floundering

Being a mom is a hard job. Wow. I mean, W.O.W. Some days I just feel like I am floundering between re-directing busy boys, laundry that grows by the nano-second, guilt that builds to the point of Three Mile Island every time I say "just one second..." (and/or insert, 'Dinosaur Train' is on TV), working out/training for my 10k, posting pictures/stories on this blog so the boys will actually have something to read about their childhood because at this rate it's their only hope. I could go on ranting about this, but I'll stop myself.

I realize this is a season. I realize that children are only small once and I need to enjoy this time. I realize that laundry/cleaning can wait. But really...laundry also has to get done so my kids have clothes. Dishes need washing so I can feed hungry mouths. Running has to happen so I'm not puking on the time-keepers shoes (who by-the-way, I hope will still be recording times by the time I cross the finish line).

I guess it's all about balance, right? And breathing. And not taking myself or my role too seriously. I think I always default to the notion that I will "ruin" or "damage" my kids if I don't _____________ (fill in the blank) with/to/for them.

However, thinking more about it here...as I look at the broad strokes of life...my boys will remember how they felt, not about what I did. So, I hope that even in the midst of piles of laundry and dishes, emails and phone calls, fire alarms and finding worms, they sense my deep love for them above these necessities...even though sometimes I will still need to finish the task at hand.

Ok. Thanks.

Do you take checks? $75?
I needed that therapy session...