Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Reinventing leftovers

So, I'm completely plagiarizing this title from my friend 
who is starting a new food blog, The Present Moment.  
What a great title, eh?  

As I was reading about her suggestions to transform leftovers 
from meatloaf to shepherd's pie,
I realized that my life as a mother is a lot like this.
On a daily basis. 
I am the queen of reinventing.  
Getting my picky four year old to eat another meal...
Dressing my two year old with a bit more variety...
as a parent, each day brings new takes on the same challenges.  

Yet as a parent,
at the end of the day,
I often wonder about the leftovers. 
Because after it is all said and done, 
there usually isn't much left. 
If any.

Bone tired might be the word. 

Giving, giving, giving. 
And then when you think you've given it your all,
someone pukes. 

But somewhere, the strength comes to give again.

It's a mystery that where there seems to be none,
bounty overflows.  

trying to find space,
a break,
a retreat,
were being hounded by more.
And more.
And more. 

Then Jesus said, 
"You feed them." 
Feed them all.

Woah. 

The "crowds"in my life hem in. 
Little boys,
writing assignments, 
marriage,
friends,
family,
home,
etc...

Haven't they taken enough already?
Feed them more?
With what?!?

The question resounds,
"How much bread do you have?" 

Jesus doesn't ask for a lot.
He just asks for what I have.
And even at the end of the day,
where there are only crumbs in my pocket,
I hear,
"That's enough." 

Because it really isn't about me.
It really isn't about what I have.
It is about what I offer. 

Because the mystery of enough,
the mystery of provision comes 
not in what I have,
but in what I give.
No matter how much 
or how little.

And it was Jesus who blessed it.
It was Jesus who broke it.
Who used those five small loaves,
and the two smelly fish,
and multiplied the offering.

And to the disciples amazement,
at the end of the meal,
there were twelve baskets of leftovers.
Twelve baskets for twelve disciples.
Hungry and tired,
overworked and underpaid.

And they were satisfied. 

Jesus, take my crumbs. 
Transform these leftovers,
into something that not only feeds my crowds,
but my soul.