This Present Moment

As a parent, especially to little ones,
especially to curious boys,
I find that I need to supervise them under a fairly watchful eye.
Or something like this might happen:

Just saying.  

Yet, I am realizing that even when I am there, I might not really be all there.

No, not in the "I'm losing my marbles" way, 

but in the emotionally present way. 

In the way that takes in the wonder of the moment,

that truly hears and shares in the laughter,

that sees beyond the tears and squabbles,

that enters in to the gift of life. 

Because life flashes by.

And where will I be when I finally wake up?

50?

70?

Will my boys have receding hair-lines and bifocals? 

And how I will long for these days of managed chaos back... 

running feet,

muddy worms,

blueberry shampoo.

Millions of details swallow my presence on a fairly regular basis:

phone calls to return,

dry cleaning to pick up,

play dates to make,

meetings to attend,

food to prepare,

toys to pick up,

laundry to fold,

bills to pay,

plants to water.

But that is just what they are...

details.  

Is my life going to be ruined if I don't get to all these details?

Absolutely not.

But, if I allow these details to take over my life, 

my presence,

the only gift I really have to offer another,

my beloveds,

it just might.

Perhaps the devil really is in the details.

And so today, I intentionally walk slower with two small hands in mine 

for there is no need to rush,

no need to drag,

no need to clip along.

For the moment is here.

And it is a gift.

As I am present, to this moment...

and God help me, the next too...

life almost comes to a stand-still. 

I'm here.

They are here.

I am watching,

experiencing,

shaping,

life.

What an honor.