First of all if there are any readers out there left, I apologize profusely! I know how annoying it is to check someone's blog that you are interested in getting updates from, only to find the same picture at the top. (However cute the picture may be!) Anyhow, in a nutshell...we have had an incredibly stressful last few months. Between being in a serious car accident (thankfully we are all okay--the other 2 drivers were life-flighted out), to Shawn's mom's diagnosis with cancer and being on hospice, it's been a lot to sift through. I'm trying to take it a day at a time and find joy and sanity with each day. However, being faced with so many instances of facing your own mortality, and how fragile that is, has been a bit much to take. I could worry myself sick thinking of all the "what-ifs" in this life. But what I really think I'm being invited into during this point of my life, is to trust that God Is. It's not so much that God brings on, or takes things away, so much as it is that God is walking with me through whatever and wherever life takes me. For that I am thankful. And, I am also deeply thankful for amazing church friends who have journeyed (and continue to) with us. It is humbling. I admit it, I don't like to ask for help, and am not the best receiving it, because it shows weakness, perhaps? For someone who likes to have it all together or at least wants to create the illusion of that, it is hard be in this spot. But learning to receive well is just as important as learning to give well, I'm coming to believe. Because receiving well means that you recognize that you are not perfect, you can't live life alone, ultimately...you aren't God. A good reminder for the perfectionist in me.
Anyways...I promise to do better. Connor is now 6 months. I'm getting his pictures taken tomorrow and will post some. He's just too cute for words. Owen continues to grow and cracks us up with what he says. My favorite thing he does now is whispers in my ear. Love it.
Sorry for the rambling--but, I do ask that you would please keep us and Shawn's mom/family in your thoughts and prayers. We are leaving for Florida on Monday, June 8th (my bday) to drive down to be with her indefinitely until her passing--which is not too far off. May peace and comfort abound.
6 comments:
I'm so sorry for all you've been through, Rachel! I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for this lovely reminder to trust in God. I am a worrier and I think about mortality (my own and loved ones) more often than I probably should and it's good to be reminded that God is in charge and He loves us. Have a safe trip.
Know that there are people out there praying for you through everything that is going. I will especially be praying for traveling mercies with two little ones (just did a west coast trip with one little one here) and that God is with all of you in Florida. Hope all goes as well as possible, considering the circumstances.
Rachel & family---my heart goes out to all of you during this trying time! I don't know what to say besides I am definitely praying for you guys! Especially for the upcoming trip! PLEASE if I or the S.S. class can do ANYTHING for you guys, let me know!!!!
Peace to you all during this time and I am so glad to hear that you are all safe. Thank you also for the reminder that it is ok to ask for help I needed that so much these days. Things have been a bit rough here but keeping it all in perspective is so important.
Thinking of you as you go through the grief and loss process and all the mixture of emotions that reside. Thinkng of you and wishing Jesus's peace on you.
So sorry to hear of your loss. Your family is definitely in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve, come to terms with your loss and heal over time. It's a process, be patient and kind to yourself. Thank you for your poem and sharing where you are at in your spiritual journey. Thinking of you!
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