Updates from my last post: We made it to Florida on Tuesday, June 9th after driving straight through the night. We were planning on stopping half-way down, but got a distressing call from Shawn's dad before heading out that Reta wasn't doing too well. We reached Florida on Tuesday afternoon, and the boys were able to say hello/goodbye. Reta recognized each of them, turned towards them, reached out to hug, and said "Hi." However, even after that brief interaction, closed her eyes to rest again. I was a bit unprepared to see her. In my mind I think I was envisioning time to be able to hold her hand and we could talk somewhat and review life. However, she was just so weak and frail. It took my breath away seeing this once vibrant woman with such a great sense of humor, who used to be my best Euchre partner, in such a state. Cancer is such an ugly, ugly, ugly thing. I can't even tell you. It just sucks all the life out a person.
I came back on Wednesday at noon to drop off something (we were staying at my Grandmother's home nearby), and went in to greet her. I wasn't intentionally thinking that this might be my last time with her, but I'm so thankful that I went in and sat with her for a few minutes, holding her hand, and telling her that I would take care of her "boys." She opened her eyes briefly and knew I was there. I kissed her and told her I loved her. Then she went back to sleep.
Meanwhile, Shawn and his brother Kent were mostly taking "vigil" with Reta, being with her constantly through the day and night, caring for her needs and just sitting with. It really remined me again and deepened my love for my husband. His complete devotion towards his mother, his deep care and tender love shown to her made me once again thank God (and Reta) for him. I truly am a blessed woman to have a man such as this.
On Wednesday evening I got an urgent phone call from Shawn about 9:30pm saying that he thinks (death) might be close. Another call came in at 9:45pm to tell us (Miriam, Kent's wife was with me) of her passing.
From Shawn's account: He, Kent, and Keith were surrounding Reta's bed, where she was with her eyes closed. They were talking to her about all they appreciated about her and what she meant to them. Then she opened her eyes up very wide and looked at each of them (moving her head towards each). They sensed that it was her way of saying goodbye. After that, she closed her eyes and took three more breaths. They felt as if she went very peacefully and was at rest.
Miriam and I went over about 10:15pm (a second cousin came to stay with our sleeping boys) so we could be with them. The pastor came over and the funeral home. I felt that it was good to be with Reta, to continue the grieving and healing process.
We had services at Bahia Vista Church (Sarasota, FL) on Saturday, and a graveside memorial in Goshen, IN the following Saturday. It felt very frantic and busy preparing for all of the details regarding funerals, etc...for those two weeks.
However, now that we are back and things have settled down quite a bit, I find myself thinking about and dreaming about Reta in unexpected ways. I can still hear her wonderful "cackle" laugh. I miss having another female around the house, and truly feel outnumbered with the 4 boys to me when we are together now (with Keith). But I think I just feel the most sad that Owen and Connor won't have any memories, or very few, of their Grandmother who loved them so much. They really were her joy. But, just as she has spent her life shaping Shawn, and has loved and influenced my life, she lives in us. And we pass her along to them. For that I am thankful.
And grateful.
I came back on Wednesday at noon to drop off something (we were staying at my Grandmother's home nearby), and went in to greet her. I wasn't intentionally thinking that this might be my last time with her, but I'm so thankful that I went in and sat with her for a few minutes, holding her hand, and telling her that I would take care of her "boys." She opened her eyes briefly and knew I was there. I kissed her and told her I loved her. Then she went back to sleep.
Meanwhile, Shawn and his brother Kent were mostly taking "vigil" with Reta, being with her constantly through the day and night, caring for her needs and just sitting with. It really remined me again and deepened my love for my husband. His complete devotion towards his mother, his deep care and tender love shown to her made me once again thank God (and Reta) for him. I truly am a blessed woman to have a man such as this.
On Wednesday evening I got an urgent phone call from Shawn about 9:30pm saying that he thinks (death) might be close. Another call came in at 9:45pm to tell us (Miriam, Kent's wife was with me) of her passing.
From Shawn's account: He, Kent, and Keith were surrounding Reta's bed, where she was with her eyes closed. They were talking to her about all they appreciated about her and what she meant to them. Then she opened her eyes up very wide and looked at each of them (moving her head towards each). They sensed that it was her way of saying goodbye. After that, she closed her eyes and took three more breaths. They felt as if she went very peacefully and was at rest.
Miriam and I went over about 10:15pm (a second cousin came to stay with our sleeping boys) so we could be with them. The pastor came over and the funeral home. I felt that it was good to be with Reta, to continue the grieving and healing process.
We had services at Bahia Vista Church (Sarasota, FL) on Saturday, and a graveside memorial in Goshen, IN the following Saturday. It felt very frantic and busy preparing for all of the details regarding funerals, etc...for those two weeks.
However, now that we are back and things have settled down quite a bit, I find myself thinking about and dreaming about Reta in unexpected ways. I can still hear her wonderful "cackle" laugh. I miss having another female around the house, and truly feel outnumbered with the 4 boys to me when we are together now (with Keith). But I think I just feel the most sad that Owen and Connor won't have any memories, or very few, of their Grandmother who loved them so much. They really were her joy. But, just as she has spent her life shaping Shawn, and has loved and influenced my life, she lives in us. And we pass her along to them. For that I am thankful.
And grateful.
2 comments:
What a beautiful tribute you posted about Reta! Very well written! You guys are in our prayers!!!
So well said. I know Rita felt all your love and tenderness. We're thinking of you constantly and know you've had so many stressors these last months. May you have many moments of rest and many amazing memories of your Mom and Mom in law. Love you guys!
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