Doing holy work

Lately, I've had this intense desire to re-connect with God in a new way. Perhaps it is from reading the book, Eat, Pray, Love; or from going through the death process with my family and needing to reflect on the nature of life, and how we live ours. What legacy do we want to live? My desire is that I want to be at the center of God's heart. I want to live with purpose and make a difference in the lives of people. This starts with knowing God...and being known by God. However, finding time to do it seems nearly impossible. When I just gave birth (or was about to) to my boys, certain songs seemed to flood my consciousness. I put words to them, and that was the song "of my child." You can read more about this if you want to, as I gave a sermon about Owen called, "Song of the Village" at First Menno Denver in 2007 (http://firstofdenver.co.us.mennonite.net/.cWcustom/Sermon2007/060307.html). Anyhow, my point is this...the tune of Connor's song that came to me just prior to his birth is "Be Still and Know." I had NO idea when this tune came to me (and the words for Connor later) how much I would need to be reminded of this. Be still. And know. I. AM. GOD. With all the confusion, disorientation, and grief we've experienced in these last 8 months, under it all is God's whisper to me: Be still and know that I am God. Thanks be to God.

During my "devotions" this morning (um...don't think of me as a saint for doing this...I almost had to laugh about how many times I was interrupted during my 5 minutes of it all...which is a rareity most days of the week anyways), I was reminded that in my desire to know God, as a busy mom, God is already here and working. This poem came to me which I will share with you:

I want to know you, God.
I want to be known by you.
But where is the time?
Mommy, I need your help...
Phone rings...
Knock at the door.
I want to know you, God.
Mommy, Mommy!
But how?
When?

I AM here.
Because I AM.
I AM in the laughter,
the tears,
the prayers of your children.

I AM in in the work you do,
in the schedules you keep,
because I AM in the air you breathe.

I AM here...all around you.
The time is now.
Past,
Present,
Future.
I AM here.

You just need to take notice.
The space to find me (at this time)
just looks different.

No Ashrams,
no candlelit meditative spaces
in which to fall into silence.
For I AM in your busyness,
not just in your stillness.

I AM in your laundry,
your emails,
your dishes.
I AM in wondering eyes,
scrapes,
and bandaids.

Adjust your vision.
Adjust your expectations.
I AM here.
I'm still here.
You are doing holy work.
I'm just waiting to be discovered.

~08.03.09