Holding on...Letting go

If you have not yet heard, the Gerber family is again in transition. Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. Transition. Again. Shawn has accepted a fellowship at the University of Virginia Medical Center to do Supervisory training in Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). A mouthful. In other words, he's pretty much getting his Ph.D. in chaplaincy, which is called "Supervisor," so he can be a professor who teaches/trains/directs CPE units for people to become chaplains. Pretty confusing to explain. Pretty confusing to write down. Translation=moving again.

Now UVA is in Charlottesville, VA (1 hour from Harrisonburg, where we lived for 5 years previously) a beautiful, sunny, mild-weathered part of our country. I am thankful for that. But, I loathe the thought of packing up, saying goodbye, and moving again out of people's hearts and lives. That is the hardest to do. Frankly, I could do the whole physical moving again and again...but it just gets harder to transition from the heart. We've built some very dear relationships here. It will be hard to leave.

People wonder why (including family)--why not just stay put? That would be the easiest and most comfortable for sure. And we could. For sure. Shawn likes his job for the most part, and has done really good things for his department. But, our call is to go. And as much as we love it here...we have to follow the Call. It is hard to understand...but I guess it just all comes down to trust. We have to trust God in this direction, in giving Shawn these gifts and opening doors in which to use them. (And not to sound harsh, but in a way those who still don't fully understand our need to move, will simply just have to trust us...trust that we have listened and that we are trying to live faithfully. There is nothing else we can do.)

"Holding on...letting go," is our Lenten theme this year in church. How this hits home for me. Holding on to God that God knows the plans ahead (even though HUGE questions still loom...where to live, how we will live on such limited $, what will I do, etc...); Letting go of the need to know how exactly it will all come together. Holding on to my family and friends here in Goshen, thankful for the mark they have made in our lives; While at the same time, letting go of them, to allow space to receive the gift of new friendships that will yet be made.

It's a helpful way of thinking about life in transition. It doesn't make it any easier. But at least it gives it some framework.