The burning heart

This morning wasn't been one of the best.
I was up way too late last night exercising,
making it much too difficult to settle down to sleep.

Lack of sleep
(whom I really have no one to blame but myself)
coupled with two grouchy boys,
freezing rain,
and realization that Shawn is on-call yet again...
didn't make me the best mama this morning.

As I was about to rage on the world,
trying to maneuver slow munchkins out the door,
with not nearly enough caffeine in the veins,

Rush, rush, rush.

Push, shove,

move, jostle, 

hurry, hurry, 

come on! 

the phrase, "Life is not an emergency,"
sang to my heart.

When I took pause and really considered my life,
when I looked at my immediate need at hand,
it was apparent.

My life right now, is not an emergency.

Being 2 minutes late to preschool
will not make much of a difference in the grand scheme of life.
And that is the truth.

What is it then that rages?
What is it then within me that makes me think that emergencies are everywhere?
The laundry pile.
The spilled milk.
The getting out of bed.
Again.
And again.

Annoying, yes.
Emergency, no.
Let's be real.

There is not much in life that is a true emergency.

So, what is it then?
Perhaps it is buying into scarcity.
That things are quickly slipping away.
That my control is fading.
That there will not be enough
time,
energy,
effort,
resources.
There is never enough.

But what is the truth?
The real truth?
Can I handle the truth? (insert joke here.)

The truth is,
is that God has given us all we need.
God is a God of abundance,
not scarcity.
Everything is in God's hands.
And I'm being invited to notice it.
To slow down enough,
to see these moments for what they really are.
And they are not emergencies.

And so, when things get really ramped up,
both in boys,
chores,
and in soul;
I breath in again Jehovah-jirah,
and say,

"I have been given all I need."

And my eyes are opened.
For there is abundance here.

Lots of arms (big and small) to pick up toys.
Luxury and convenience of having a dishwasher.
Sunshine peaking out from the clouds during rush hour traffic.

Perhaps this is how those two felt
when they walked the long road towards Emmaus.
Panic,
confusion,
bewilderment,
was their journey.
But it was in the breaking of bread,
in the mystery shared,
they saw that they had all they needed.
From the very beginning.

"Were not our hearts burning within us 
as he was talking with us along the road?"

Luke 24:32

May your emergencies be transformed into Emmaus' today.

Much bread for the journey for you today.

And always.