Demanding of my husband.
The one who already gives so much,
to his family,
to the ones who sit in darkness of pain and suffering.
Demanding of my boys--
why can't they do more?
why can't they listen?
why can't they (for the love of all things holy) be quiet. for. one. minute?
Even demanding of myself--
to do more,
to be more.
It is exhausting to live like this.
Each morning I wake up feeling like I am on a treadmill.
Run, run, run.
But where am I going?
What do I really want?
I have felt convicted today to see my life through the lens of gratitude.
Because gratitude warms the cold demands.
Gratitude deepens the soul.
Gratitude sees all life as a gift.
Every moment is holy--it is to be honored,
not rushed,
imposed upon,
demanded.
This is love.
Gratitude--to be grateful,
to be full of grace,
that which is given as gift.
To see that which is gift.
God, grant me eyes to see.
But this can only be learned through practice.
I need to do gratitude.
I can't just hope it will come.
I can't just wish it here.
I need to do it.
And so I write these daily glimpses of grace,
life given as gift,
to silence the demands,
the demons that try to steal my life,
my joy,
my love.
1. A warm bed that grew 4 additional legs and arms overnight.
2. Quiet, slow afternoons.
3. The smell of the clean dishes.
4. The squeals of chase.
5. Sister-in-laws that are like sisters.
It is working...
my soul smiles deep within.
Peace nudges the dark.
Life is blessed.
And so, I will continue to write.
I will continue to make my list.
For as I do, the demands of my soul...
the places of darkness within that call out discontent,
are hushed.
And grace rushes in.
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